How is your relationship with money? Is money a loving, supportive friend who comes to you easily whenever you need and want it? Or an intimidating figure who makes you feel incompetent and have to work hard to receive attention?
Money scares and stresses me. It is the one of the biggest block I have. It is complicated. To work on my relationship with money, I have to first work on my relationship with myself, just like everything else.
To present something intelligible for this post, I was reading up on Prosperity in “Experience Your Good Now” by Louise L. Hay. I ended up doing the practical exercises and uncovered that my biggest fear about money was that I am incapable of earning money. I thought poorly of myself. I thought I had already worked on my scarcity mindset during my training. Turns out there are more to be released!
I also realised I needed to dredge out deep layers of unhealthy notions about money that I grew up believing, “Money very hard to earn”, “Got money must save”, “Don’t anyhow spend”, “If only I strike 4D”.
I rarely talk about money. In fact, I find it hard as I have yet to experience abundance in this new career. I am braving myself now to share this only because of two inspiring conversations I had in these two weeks. One was with a freegan. Yes, a freegan, here in Singapore. He receives almost everything free simply because he is thankful for just being able to breathe and to be alive on planet Earth (because the chances of being obliterated by an asteroid is actually very high; maybe higher than 4D).
Another was with a former workshop participant, now friend and supporter, who asked how I get by having no stable regular income when I still have bills to pay. I replied that I believe I have been put to this, so I will be put through this. Most importantly, I know this is a lesson for me, so I know how it’s like when my clients have money worries or self-doubt.
For me, I have two tests – trust and deservedness. Trusting that the Universe provides for me simply because I asked and I deserve it just for being me.
What are yours?
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